Grief, Loss, and Therapy: Finding a Way Through

Grief is one of the most profound emotional experiences we can go through. It comes in many forms—losing a loved one, the end of a relationship, the loss of a role or identity, or even coming to terms with one’s own mortality. Despite how universal grief is, it is often misunderstood, leaving many people feeling alone in their pain.

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When we experience loss, the world around us continues as if nothing has changed, yet everything feels different. We may struggle with emotions we didn’t expect—anger, guilt, numbness, or even relief—and this can be confusing. Grief does not follow a straight line; it moves in waves, sometimes gentle and sometimes overwhelming.

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While some people find that time eases their grief, others feel stuck, weighed down by sorrow in a way that makes it hard to move forward. This is where therapy can help—not by forcing you to "get over it," but by helping you process your loss in a way that allows for healing.

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Understanding Grief: More Than Just Sadness

Grief is often associated with sadness, but it is much more complex than that. It can manifest in various ways, including:

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• Emotional symptoms: Deep sadness, anger, guilt, anxiety, regret, or even moments of happiness that feel confusing.

• Physical symptoms: Fatigue, aches and pains, difficulty sleeping, or a sense of heaviness in the body.

• Cognitive symptoms: Difficulty concentrating, forgetfulness, feeling disconnected from reality.

• Behavioural symptoms: Withdrawing from others, avoiding reminders of the loss, or struggling with daily routines.

 

Everyone experiences grief differently, and there is no "right" way to grieve. Some people express their emotions openly, while others keep their feelings private. Some may want to talk about their loss, while others prefer to process it internally. No matter how grief presents itself, it is valid.

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When Grief Becomes Complicated

For many, grief is a difficult but evolving process. Over time, the intensity of pain shifts, and while the loss remains, it becomes something they can carry. But for others, grief becomes complicated, making it hard to move forward. This is known as complicated grief or prolonged grief disorder.

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Complicated grief can happen when:

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• The loss was sudden, unexpected, or traumatic.

• The relationship with the deceased was deeply dependent or conflicted.

• There were unresolved issues or unfinished business.

• The grieving person lacks social support or has experienced multiple losses.

 

People with complicated grief may experience:

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• Persistent and overwhelming sadness that doesn’t lessen with time.

• A deep sense of longing or preoccupation with the person who has died.

• A struggle to accept the reality of the loss, even after a long time.

• Avoidance of reminders or, conversely, an inability to engage in anything outside of grief.

• A sense of meaninglessness, where life no longer feels worth living.

 

Therapy can help by providing a structured and supportive space to process these emotions. It allows people to explore their grief without feeling trapped by it, helping them find a way to move forward while still honouring their loss.

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Anticipatory Grief: Grieving Before a Loss

Grief doesn’t only begin after someone has died. Sometimes, it starts long before the loss happens. Anticipatory grief occurs when we know a loss is coming—such as when a loved one has a terminal illness, when we sense the end of a relationship, or when we fear losing something or someone.

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This type of grief can bring:

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• A sense of dread, knowing what is to come but feeling powerless to stop it.

• Emotional swings, from moments of peace to overwhelming sadness or fear.

• Feelings of guilt, especially if there are moments of relief or detachment.

• A deep desire to hold on, making goodbyes incredibly painful.

 

Anticipatory grief is often isolating because those around us may not understand it. Therapy can help by providing a space to process emotions, find ways to cope, and navigate the transition before the loss occurs.

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Facing Your Own Mortality: The Grief of Knowing

Grief isn’t always about losing someone else—it can also be about losing ourselves. People facing terminal illness or coming to terms with their own mortality experience a unique form of grief: the loss of future possibilities, the fear of leaving loved ones behind, and the existential weight of knowing that life is finite.

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This kind of grief can bring:

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• A sense of unfairness, questioning “Why me?”

• Fear of suffering or being forgotten.

• A shifting sense of priorities, where things that once mattered now feel insignificant.

• A search for meaning, wanting to make sense of one’s life and legacy.

 

For many, this experience is deeply isolating. Loved ones may struggle to talk about it, either out of discomfort or their own grief. Therapy provides a space where these fears and emotions can be expressed openly, offering comfort, understanding, and support in making peace with what lies ahead.

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How Therapy Can Help with Grief

Grief therapy isn’t about making you forget or move on—it’s about helping you live alongside your grief in a way that feels manageable. It offers a place where you can be honest about your emotions, where you don’t have to pretend you’re okay, and where you can find ways to carry your loss without being consumed by it.

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Therapy can help by:

✅ Providing a safe space to express your feelings without pressure to “get over it.”
✅ Helping you make sense of your emotions, including anger, guilt, and regret.
✅ Exploring your relationship with the person who has died, allowing you to hold onto memories without overwhelming pain.
✅ Finding ways to honour your loss while still allowing yourself to live.
✅ Helping you navigate existential questions about life, death, and meaning.
✅ Supporting you through complicated or prolonged grief, offering strategies to help you move forward.

 

Healing does not mean forgetting, and moving forward does not mean leaving someone behind. Therapy can help you find a way to integrate loss into your life in a way that feels meaningful.

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You Don’t Have to Grieve Alone

If you are struggling with grief—whether it is fresh, complicated, or something you have been carrying for years—you don’t have to go through it alone. Therapy offers support, understanding, and a path towards healing that is unique to you.

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Grief may never fully disappear, but with the right support, it can become something you carry with love, rather than something that weighs you down.

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Contact me to find out how grief therapy can help.

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